Get to work, bitch. (probably NSFW.)

Put a cork in it, Margo.

by kiki dogwood

You’ve heard of this guy, yes?  I tried to find a not-scary photo of him and this is the best I could do, so apologies.  I read his book Eight Weeks to Optimum Health years ago and learned tons about vitamins, air purifiers, allergies, and nutrition, but what sticks out in my mind is his explanation of why we don’t lose weight while drinking alcohol.

Firstly, lets say that a glass of wine is 70 extra calories that you didn’t budget for the day.  But that’s not even true because I poured “one serving” of wine into a glass, then poured it into a baby bottle to measure it (it was all I had that was marked with ounces, come on!) and it was more like 150 calories per Kiki-serving than 70.  So there’s that little hurdle straight out of the gate.

Dr. Weil explains in his book that alcohol calories are burned before anything else.  So if you’re sitting at dinner, eating your chicken casserole or whatever, and having a glass of wine, the mere act of existing is burning up calories.  However, it’s not even beginning to burn off your dinner because of the alcohol.  The food calories are being packed away and stored as fat, while the alcohol calories are converted to acetate and burned immediately.  Even if you’re just having a tiny dinner because you want to lose weight and maybe even because you want to fit in a few sippy sips of Tanqueray, you’re slowing down the fat-burning process with the alcohol because the body will burn the acetate first.

The lesson here?  If you drink, don’t eat.  Better yet, for the next 90 days, don’t drink.

And another point:  when people say that Europeans drink all the time and remain thin, it’s a myth.  Think about it.  British people?  They’re fat.  The Irish?  Fat.  Italians?  They’re fat.  Germans?  They’ll kick your ass, but they’re still fat.  French Women Don’t Get Fat?  Bullshit.  Yes they do.  The world is flat, and thanks to us, they eat a lot more like Americans now.  They’re on the fast-track to be as fat as us in just one more decade.

Dr. Scary Andrew Weil


4 Responses to “Put a cork in it, Margo.”

  1. I had never heard this explanation before, and it makes a lot of sense to me, so thanks for posting it. Of course I knew about the extra calorie bit, and the “empty” calorie bit—but the these-calories-go-first bit is news to me, and not good news. Although, it’s not something that I’m likely to forget ever, and so maybe that is good news.

    Good job with the picture, by the way. That really is the least scary photo of him that I have ever seen.

    Thanks for being the voice of reason, Kiks. Where would I be without you?


  2. Every single day from the moment we get out of bed (or for some of us, when our husbands bring us some food while we’re still in bed) to the moment we call it a night is a battle to bring us closer to the skinny, sexy thighs. We’re not just going to wake up one day and have them. It’s a fight. It’s not easy. Each day can be won or lost by what we put in our mouths and we’re only prolonging our misery by having loser days.

    Stop being a loser and I will too.


  3. […] last week, so I’m pretty sure I did not actually gain 2.4 lbs of fat. Which can only mean one thing.  I’m back on the Booze-Free Express.  Are you coming with me, Kiki?  Don’t make me […]

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