Get to work, bitch. (probably NSFW.)

Guestblogger: Jessica Biel

I know, right?

Hey, what’s up.

I heard that maybe you were looking for some inspiration or whatever, so I thought I’d stop by to let you look at me. I mean, I’m pretty busy, but I like to help people out. You may have heard that I recently climbed Mount Kilimanjaro to bring attention to the fact that there are a lot of places in the world that need clean drinking water? It’s really sad, you guys. And I’m not totally sure what Kilimanjaro has to do with drinking water except that it’s in Africa and I hear there’s a lot of shit wrong over there. So, anyway, that was pretty cool. Except that when you’re climbing a mountain, it gets kind of cold and so I had to wear pants most of the time, which was a huge bummer for me because… well, come on. I mean look at me. Covering this up is like a crime against nature. NO. A crime against HUMANITY. Seriously.

So, I’m just really glad to be back home now in Cali where I can run around like this as clearly God intended me to run around, and really contribute to society.

Which brings me to you guys. What the hell is wrong with you guys? I mean, you’re blog is kind of cute or whatever, but you seem like total wusses to me. Do you know what it takes to be this hot? It sure as hell isn’t martinis or cinnimelts or Whataburger, and, frankly, that delicious dinner salad is pushing it. You know what I eat for dinner? Squats, that’s what. With a side of plyometrics and some Russian twists for dessert. And you better believe that nothing your sissy ass is eating or drinking tastes so good.

I like you guys, but you’ve got to get it together. So, here, you know what? I’m gonna do you a favor, and show you something:

I mean, come on.

Get it?



5 Responses to “Guestblogger: Jessica Biel”

  1. um…your blog is awesome???!!
    “i eat squats for dinner”
    so far funniest of the day.

    and as per your question about the office…purely coincidence. i was watching survivor. DVR can only record so much..

  2. Um, YOUR blog is awesome, missy.


  3. You guys really rock!

    I love that you are posting funny stuff, encouraging stuff, etc along with your real life struggles. I feel like we are on the same path!

    Thank you!!

  4. Hey, Kiki, check it out. We got a little Faith today!! Which is *exactly* what we needed. Thanks!


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