Get to work, bitch. (probably NSFW.)

Shut your pie hole.

by margo fontaine

So, I’ve been hearing a lot of “HELL NO, I’m not putting on a bikini, I’ve had 3 kids!!” and “After 3 kids, blahblahblerdibloo….” I just stop listening after that. I know that I have never been a human gestation resort and I’m liable to get some backlash for saying this, but:


You know who else has 3 kids*?

Heidi Klum

Kelly Ripa

Victoria Beckham

COME ON, PEOPLE.  Take a lesson from Kiki here, and SET A GOAL.

*yes, they are all post baby shots.


14 Responses to “Shut your pie hole.”

  1. (Yes, I know I’m totally a whiner. I’m working on it.)


  2. I would like to add those are probably the only women in the WORLD who look like that after 3 kids. 🙂 AND there’s nothing proving they did it naturally.. Heidi I believe, but I wouldn’t put lipo past the others.

  3. Anon, I have a friend who just sent me her before and after shots, and she has 3 kids. And she could kick Heidi’s ass.


  4. I believe Kelly Ripa works her butt off (literally) also. And I’m not sure that Posh is 1) actually human, or 2) eats anything but air.


  5. Oh I agree- even with lipo, you can’t look like that without working your butt off. But who knows if she had any help…?

    And yes, i believe it’s been proven that Posh only eats air. No wonder she never smiles.

  6. K – Post please!!! Black out her face for anonymity, I wanna see 🙂

  7. OH btw ladies – I was totally all up in your blog yesterday at the gym – Managed 3 mins at 3.4 followed by 8 (YES 8!) 1 minute sprints at 8.5. At first I had a minute of rest in between and then thought I remembered reading something about a 2:1 ratio so switched over to a 2 minute rest (I couldn’t have managed much longer at 1 minute). The whole thing was over in 28 mins. And then (yes!) in between each set of weights I did 30 second cardio intervals of jacks/high knees/what have you. Best hour workout EVER!

  8. Nope. It’s not good photography and we have a rule here that the pictures have to be beautifully done. There are a few that aren’t, but they weren’t posted by me. MARGO.


    and your workout sounds like a job well done. It won’t be long before you’re so strong that your belly button is an outie, just like Kelly Ripa.

  9. Sweet! Thanks for posting that. And thanks for saying that about the 2:1 ratio and 2 minute rests, because I was totally needing more than one minute the other day and totally beating myself up for taking it. Also, I’m going to steal your cardio interval trick!


  10. I thought I had read that in one of Kat’s notes on here about the 2:1 ratio but maybe I’m imagining it. Do you think Kelly Ripa’s bellybutton is like that from her muscles, or from all the babies, or none of the above?

    Yeah my old trainer actually taught me the cardio interval trick – if you either do those horrible high-knee things, or hold a 12 pound weight and do raises during jumping jacks, or do mountain climbers or some other form of torture, it keeps your heart rate up for the whole circuit training session – the first two intervals I did were 1 min, but then I wimped out and downgraded to 30 seconds (I do 6 rounds of cardio 3 sets of one set of 4 exercises, then 3 sets of a different set of 4 exercises.. which means 6 cardio intervals.. does that make sense?). I think I was audibly GROANING by the end so that’s a good sign.

  11. * Argh – make that 6 rounds of WEIGHTS

  12. OK…so I found your blog somehow and I have to say I’m nowhere NEAR skinny, BUT…..

    1. Heidi Klum is awesome and I love her and yes, she does look awesome after having 3 kids….but, she’s a supermodel and gets paid a LOT to stay that way.

    2. Kelly Ripa’s body is DISGUSTING. WAY too scrawny. That bellybutton is just revolting, and I hate her 12-year-old boy shape – she’s all up and down straight, no boobs and toothpick arms and legs. Wouldn’t give up all the fat on my body for ONE DAY in hers.

    3. Like Victoria Beckham, think she looks fantastic in clothes and out, but she’s also really unrealistically skinny.

    I admire that you’re trying to lose the baby weight (I don’t have any babies to blame – I’m just fat all on my own) but you probably look WAY better than you think you do in your own head.

    While you’re aspiring to be like these three celebrities, I would give my left arm to look like any of these girls (from a post I did on my blog):

    Of course, it wouldn’t take much for me to get there….lol….just cutting back on a few calories would do it. But I would NEVER be able to do what it takes to get to that Heidi Klum body!

    Good luck to you all with your workouts and your weight loss. Sounds like you’re really dedicated!!


  13. Thanks for the comment, Salena, and your blog is great! Though I wasn’t expecting to see those ladies when I clicked over…

    I’ll be sure to read more when my kid isn’t screaming at me.


  14. Thanks for this, Salena! And for the link to your great post. Those women are gorgeous (and, by the way, far smoother than I am, at least by the light of my unphotoshopped mirror).

    I’m with you on Kelly Ripa’s belly button for sure, and my 5’3″ ass could never in a million years look like Heidi Klum, even if I had 0% body fat.

    Acceptance is a beautiful and very necessary thing, and in a lot of ways I think it actually ends up helping people reshape themselves when they finally experience it, if that was a part of their goal to begin with. I don’t have any kids and got where I am by myself… which, frankly, is not all that terrible. I can be realistic there. I just know that I could FEEL so much better and more comfortable if I took better care of myself. (I could also feel a lot worse starving myself to be thinner, and I am thankful that I have a mind that realizes that.)

    I also think that having children is a completely valid explanation for body changes, so did not mean to imply every woman, regardless of circumstance, should look like Heidi Klum. But I suspect that if these mothers felt healthy and comfortable, they would not be using their kids in such a gross way. I know it’s a flip kind of glib comment that might seem funny on the surface, but in a sense it would be the same as looking at your 5 year old child and saying “IT’S YOUR FAULT I LOOK THIS WAY!” and I can think of no justification for that.

    Thanks for the reminder of common sense, the good wishes, and for putting your blog out there—it’s great!


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