Get to work, bitch. (probably NSFW.)

Tuesday with Tracy

by margo fontaine

I want your spines, bitches!

My fitness video whoredom is no secret.  I’ve got a million of them and I jump around and back and forth and always look for something new…

While it keeps me from getting bored, I have been thinking lately that it might not be all that beneficial.  I mean, obviously, any activity is better than no activity (unless we’re talking about aerobics), but anybody who knows what they’re doing is going to plan an exercise program to yield results when done consistently for a period of time.  Duh.

So, it’s time for Fontaine to commit.  I was ready to do this with the Brazil Butt Lift until that backup shaker and her stupid face put a damper on my motivation.  So, I went back to Cuckoo Anderson to supplement until I could work out my neurosis—and also that devil arm cellulite—and I started to feel different.  Her new dvds are insane to the max, and I totally agree that she’s trying to conquer the fitness world by killing all of us.  But this evil genius knows what she is doing.  Just look at her, for God’s sake.

She says that she developed her method because she was trying to find her way to a body type that she just was not given.  And if that’s not the story of my life, then I don’t know what is.  So, I’m back in the zone for Dwarf Barbie.  I’m gonna try this trust thing out and see what happens.

You hear that Trace?  I ain’t skeerd’a you.  It’s you and me and meat for breakfast for the next month.  And if you deliver on this teeny tiny promise of yours, then you can have my spine.  I’ll even throw in a pair of pants.


2 Responses to “Tuesday with Tracy”

  1. Is this part of cardio-free week? Is it weight-intensive and not high-cardio? Is this the DVD you sent me? As soon as my boobs stop aching (and leaking) and I can use my pec muscles I’m going to open it.

  2. It is part of cardio-free MONTH, baby. It’s not super weight-intensive, because she has a rule about using nothing more than 3 lb weights because “anything more causes bulk which just allows for loose skin later on.” But it is weight-intensive in that I have to keep my huge fat leg in the air for a long time and a lot of repetitions, and I’m pretty sure each of my legs weighs at least 30 lbs. It’s not the same one I sent you, but in that set. Just the non-preg rather than post-preg version. And once I get that one down, I’ll go to the crazy club-dancing new ones.

    If you like that one I sent you, I’ll send you this one, too.

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