Get to work, bitch. (probably NSFW.)

Friday fat check

by margo fontaine

hoho0482 on flickr

133.0 today!  Down 1.8 from last week, and 11.6 over all!  (I KNOW!!)  I still think Scale is messing with me, though.  Because I have not stopped the all-the-time weighing myself, and it’s never as low as it is on Friday mornings.  BUT.  It is consistently going in the right direction, and I did the testing the scale trick by weighing dumbells, and it says it’s right.  So, maybe I should stop doubting it and just accept that I’m on my way to Skinny Bitch Town.

Also, my body fat percentage has finally lowered into the “normal” range, praise the little baby Jesus.  And that bitch Cellulite is starting to look a little timid, even though she is still following me around ALL the damn time.  Be worried, Cellulite.  You’re getting run out of Skinny Bitch Town.

(Kiki: I think that even if you stay on Jenny, you should seriously consider having one ounce of meat first thing in the morning.  Every morning.  Don’t even count it as food.  Count it as Magical Skinnifying Medicine.)


9 Responses to “Friday fat check”

  1. a woman at work asked me yesterday if i’ve been sick. i said, “no, why?” she said, “because you’ve lost weight.”


    kiss my shrinking ass, work lady!!

  2. OMFG Margs! I am going to kick that bitch Cellulite’s ass if she doesn’t get off your fucking backside! I’m also going to beat up your coworker. I hope you said, “You know what’s sick, lardass? The monster truck I’m going to drive through the space in my thighs on June 5.”

    I am so proud of you. I am also pea green with envy, but I’ll just have to get over that. I am down something like 4.8 since starting Jenny and maybe 2 pounds more from you and I getting together to do this.

    The scaled is always going to be lowest on day 7, even if it yo-yos all week. I don’t know why. Stop questioning it. Stop testing it with the weights. Stop doubting the power of skinnythighs.

    Yes, I should have some meat. We’ll have to talk about this. Lunch meat? Or should I cook something?

    Today’s good news: the boobs are soft. Painful, but soft.

  3. I would cook up a batch of chicken breast once a week. I do a pound of tenders or chicken breast cut into strips. And then I eat 1-2 ounces every morning. It’s so easy. Just cook it once a week (I do it in a pan on the stove with coconut oil; you could bake it if you want, which would be less fat) and keep it in the fridge and eat it cold first thing. Literally, I don’t even consider it breakfast. It’s just the first thing I do in the morning.

    When I don’t have chicken ready, I use a thick-ish cut slice of Boarshead deli turkey (still about an ounce or so). I even eat the honey maple turkey, which is higher in sugar than it needs to be, but it’s delicious.

    I’m thinking of trying beef next week, just to mix it up. But I never cook it right then, I’m way too lazy for that. I cook it all up one time and just eat it cold for days. It’s better than deli meat, but deli meat is better than nothing.

    And I’m serious, Kiki. It has to be the ONLY real explanation for my weight loss. I’m exercising regularly, but not with cardio, so it’s shaping my muscles, but cannot be the reason for the weight loss. I have been eating better, but not as strict as Jenny (I’ve had pizza once a week for the last month). I’ve cut down on the booze, but still having more than I should. So, it HAS to be the breakfast meat. It took a week to kick in, but after that, it’s been a total magic trick. DO IT.

  4. Also, YES!! Let’s fuck up Cellulite and her bitch friend Varicose Veins. The will be so sorry they ever messed with us.

  5. I’m breaking up with Jenny on Wednesday and getting on the meat train.

    We’re going to fuck everyone up. Cellie, her friend varicose and all of their baby spider veins. Muffin top, back fat, sausage arms, cankles, and double chin better hide if they know what’s good for them.

    I really can’t wait to see you again. I’m so proud of you. If we’d never started the blog and you’d never picked a fight with super mama Kat Eden, where would you be?

  6. Here’s a question. I go to the gym in the morning and usually have a protein bar beforehand. You think I should have the meat before or after the gym as breakfast, since I do both?

  7. Kiki: YES! To all of it, but especially to fucking up those miserable asshole bitches who think they can just show up whenever and ruin our hot sexy fun. YOU CAN’T, YOU JERKS. Get the hell lost.

    (I still think Jenny could work great for you if you wanted to stay with her for the hubs. You know she’s come through for you before. I’m just saying add the meat.)

    Also, you know I could never have done this without you, right? SkinnyThighs is my new comfort food. And you’re the baddest ass I know.

    Anon: I know I’m not the boss of you, but I think eating the meat should be the very first thing you do after getting out of bed. Always. Think of it like waking up your metabolism. I wouldn’t eat a full breakfast before the workout unless you have enough time to digest it. Just make meat your new protein bar. If you feel you need something more than that to sustain your workout, add some nuts or fruit or granola or something. But I’m telling you. Meat first. It’s my new mantra and it is totally working like gangbusters.

  8. Ok will do. I always thought you needed a few carbs as immediate fuel before a workout but I want to give this plan a shot. Congrats on your ridiculous melting weight!!!

  9. Thanks! I’m afraid I’m going to wake up soon and it’s all going to have been a dream. You can have carbs, too, if you need them, just have meat first!

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