Get to work, bitch. (probably NSFW.)

Tuesday with Tracy

by margo fontaine

Pull up your pants, Cuckoo. Have some self-respect.

TA’s method is all about strategic muscle exhaustion.  Exhausting the larger muscle groups so the smaller ones wake up and get to work to pull your body together.  So, it’s hard to get totally through the workout at first, because you’re doing 9 million repetitions on one leg to wear out your butt muscles.  Or you hold up your own arms and wave them around for 7 minutes until you feel like each one of them weighs 300 pounds.  It works.  Arm Cellulite has taken a hike, and it’s only been a week.  (Fuck you, Arm Cellulite!!)

Sometime this weekend, I finally started getting it, and it felt awesome.  I got through the whole workout without feeling like my ass was going to fall out, but still feeling totally worked by it.  You know.  The Zone.

Then I took ONE DAY off.  Yesterday.  ONE!  And when I went back to it today, I thought I might actually die from the waist down.  WTF, TRACY!!  I’m good people.  Stop trying to murder me.

(Plus, I’ve gained weight, AND I just now discovered that when I scratched my leg today, I totally left a bruise.  A BRUISE!  Because I have the thighs of a 90-year-old.  Disgusting.  Fuck you, Old Lady Legs!!)


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