Get to work, bitch. (probably NSFW.)

Friday fat check

by margo fontaine

hoho0482 on flickr

Here we go again with the dirty lying scale.

I got up this morning and weighed myself, and did not believe that I actually could have lost 2.5 pounds over night.  So about half an hour later, I weighed myself again—and I weighed a pound more.  A POUND.  In thirty minutes.  You suck, scale.

So, whatever.  I weigh 132.8 pounds.  Unless I have gained another pound every half hour since then, in which case I’m throwing myself out of the nearest window.


6 Responses to “Friday fat check”

  1. Wait, what? Did you eat in that 30 minutes? Pee? Drink water? Which weight was first? ALWAYS GO WITH THE LOWEST WEIGHT. Sheesh. It’s How To Weigh Yourself 101. We all know this.

  2. First weight was 131.8, but I don’t want to go with that, because it’s too much goddamn pressure for next week, since it’s all just a bunch of scale-telling lies.

    I got up. I peed. I weighed myself (without clothes). I ate a piece of chicken that did not way a pound. I took a shower. I weighed myself again (with dry hair and still no clothes). Hello new pound.

    Maybe doubt weighs a pound.

  3. (I just got told I need to by some new jeans because it looks like I’m wearing clown pants. So maybe I should give my scale some credit. Sorry, scale.)

  4. Aha! Skin absorbs a LOT of water. I swear it does, I’m not just blowing smoke up your clown pants. Your real weight is 131.8 bitch. And the 120s are around the corner.

  5. wait. you’re saying i gained weight in the shower? from the water?? forserious??? is that a real thing????

    but if i weigh 131.8, that means i lost 3.6 pounds this week? ridiculous! i hardly worked out, ate lots of cheese and crackers, had gin instead of dinner, and it HAD to be stress hormone CITY this terrible week. plus, if i claim 131.8, that means i have to seriously deliver next week. i’m skeerd!

    (“blowing smoke up your clown pants” is hilarious.)

  6. You’d easily weigh a pound more after a shower and I don’t know how long it would take that water to evaporate but it’s not a few minutes. And the 3.6 lb loss is jacked up from the fake weight gain last week.

    WHO CARES? Drink. It. In.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: