Get to work, bitch. (probably NSFW.)

While I’m at it…

by margo fontaine

Since I’m on a rampage, now—120, I know you can hear me, and you had better RUN—I thought I’d just go ahead and take care of all my business.  It really does make a girl feel liberated.

So.  Remember when I took a break from The Brazil Butt Lift Challenge I Set For Myself because of that stupid backup exerciser and her stupid face that reminds me of someone and hurts my feelings every time I look at it?  Well, listen up, Backup Shaker:


I’m sorry that this is not a beautiful picture, Kiki, but I really need for you to meet my Other Nemesis (fuck you, Number One Nemesis Cellulite!!):

She’s the one in front with the condescending head tilt and the Robert Pattinson haircut and the fake smug smile on her mug.  And she needs to watch her back, because as soon as Gisele comes into her onion booty own, we just may take a little trip down to Rio and give her a lesson in what a real woman looks like.

I started back on The Brazil Butt Lift Challenge I Set For Myself, and you know what?  SHE’S NOT ALL THAT.  She may be smooth, and she may be skinny, but she is certainly no match for me.  So, look out, Backup Nemesis: I am coming for you.

And it is going to be so. much. FUN. kicking your ass.

Stop looking at me that way, I hate you,
Margo Fontaine


4 Responses to “While I’m at it…”

  1. I thought the tomato was your #1 nemesis.

  2. Tomato is #3. If I said otherwise before, it’s because I got confused.

    But do you understand the magnitude of what I’m saying here? Because you know how much I hate Tomato. And Tomato has been reduced to third place.

  3. Stop it. You’re making me pee.

  4. For your information, I did bring the Brazil Butt Lift on vacation with me, and I’m about to go and heist some weights from the hotel gym and do it in my room. I am not kidding around about this bitch.

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