Get to work, bitch. (probably NSFW.)


by margo fontaine

I bought this magazine today because it told me I could get a body I love by May 31st.  I know that all magazines say that right now, and that it’s all bullshit, but I’m desperate and need to believe it.

Also, can you believe the abs on Kristin Davis?


13 Responses to “Desperation?”

  1. I saw this at the store. I just love her and I think you and I both have this body type. High potential in the abs and waist, problem area thighs, and totally shafted on tits.

  2. Also, tell us what it says to do, obviously.

  3. I love her too- def the prettiest one on satc. She is looking great, I know for some seasons on the show she was a little heavier.

    That’s my body type too- so please let me know how to be bikini ready by may 31st. I havent bought fitness magazine for awhile because it always says the same shit, but if there is truly a good plan i will buy it.. or at least look at it while my kids play with the trains at barnes and noble.

    Speaking of ridiculous diet plans- cukoo anderson posted her diet plan for gwyenth paltrow on her blog-I really dont know how humans can eat so little food and still workout and do everything else they need to do – if all you do is drink kale juice and eat vegetables of course your going to be fucking skinny – but how long can you maintain that – and how healthy are you going to be? Who knows tho – if i dont get some good results in the next couple of weeks i might be changing my tune.

  4. Are you kidding me? A year and a half ago Gwenny was on Oprah saying, “I workout so many hours a day so that I can eat whatever I want because I’m no good at dieting.” It was when she was going around introducing the world to Bobblehead Anderson. She even said this just last month:

    Did you see her on that show “The Marriage Ref?” Our TV was on mute but I could not stop staring at her legs and her pretty hair. And really, Gwen is not that pretty. Shakespeare in love taught us that if you cut off the hair and take away the make-up, she’s a boy.

    I also was thinking that Kristin has been a good 15 lbs heavier on the show. She must have gotten in shape for the movie. I also was thinking how tempting it was to buy to buy this magazine but then have to remember I used to have a subscription to this or something else, and every 9 months they just start over with the same content.

  5. I did watch her on “The Marriage Ref” and it was a sacrifice because that show is NOT good. I was also envying her pretty hair and skin and her ridiculous legs. And, actually, she was kind of funny on it, which I was glad about, because usually she pretty much gives me gas.

    Speaking of gas, I’ve never heard her talk about how she eats anything she wants. I’ve just heard her talk about her macrobiotic diet. And I imagine that eating as much macrobiotic food as you want is about the same as eating as much paper as you want.

    I haven’t read the magazine yet, but I’m pretty sure Kristin Davis’s new found terrific body is because she works out with Tracy Anderson.

  6. Damn it all to hell. Is Tracy Anderson the only answer?

  7. Also, the eating whatever Gwenny wants came a few years after the macrobiotic diet.

  8. Apparently, yes. Cuckoo is the only way.

  9. Sorry- its probablly a normal hair style that normal people wear too, but all i can think about when i see it is big love and the oprah show when she visits the polygamist compound. It is a huge bump of gravity defying hair on top and pulled back on the sides.
    this is what im talkin about on her and on one show the bump was even bigger

    and these are the kind of hairdos it makes me think of

    im just sayin she looks better with her hair down…

    im no polygamist but i do encourage my husband to get another wife so she can stay home to clean the house and watch the kids while i parrrtay – but i hope he would have the sense not to get one in a prairie dress with that crazy ass hair

  10. whoops wrong comment under the wrong post sorry!!
    This was meant to go under kara dioguardi
    what a dooumass i am

  11. Well, wow. Just: W O W.

    (i had a hunch about what you meant, having been raised by Mormons, but wanted to be sure.) (They were non-polygamists, my Mormons. I swear.)

  12. awww..
    i was hoping you would say, “bitch that was the hair do i grew up with and I ran away from my second husband at 15 and ever since i ripped off that prarie dress ive dreamed of showing my hot ass to the world – thats why i started this blog.. ”

    as you can see i have a lot of time at work to goof off..

    and getting back to the actual topic that i should have commented about here…

    Fuckin cukoo pisses me off because the dvds do work to some degree and if you starve yourself like she reccommends it would really probably work – but to get to gwyneths level, you probably HAVE to go to her gazillion dollar a year studio – thats why i hesitate to buy her new videos – i feel like shes feedin me a bunch of lies man

  13. I have always wanted a wife. Someone needs to keep me organized.

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