Get to work, bitch. (probably NSFW.)

Friday fat check

by margo fontaine

hoho0482 on flickr


Yeah.  Somebody else has been slacking, too.  I’m pretty sure it’s only because I started praying to our Patron Saint of Bikini Hotness yesterday that I’m even below 133 today, because I have not been trying hard enough.  (So, see there?  Build an altar.  It works.)

I’m moving this weekend, and I hope my total all-encompassing hatred for moving is going to turn my body into a hate-calorie burning furnace.  Then on Monday, I’ll have a DEXA scan, where I will find out exactly how many pounds of me is bones, how many pounds are muscle, how many pounds are fat, and how many pounds are water.  Tuesday starts the circuit training.

I still have to buy a bikini for my purse.

Say it with me:

Hail Salma, full of near-naked hotness,
the Sexy Skinny Thigh Gods are with thee;
blessed art thou among boobage,
and blessed is the smoothness of thy thighs and ass.  (Jesus!)
Holy Salma, Mother of effortless gorgeous shape and figure,
pray for us lumpy fatties, now and at the hour of our bikini challenge.


8 Responses to “Friday fat check”

  1. What is with you and 131? Aren’t you tired of each other yet? Hasn’t 131 asked to move on, see other people?

  2. Not yet. It’s a love/hate relationship. And I think 131 has some crazy wicked voodoo priestess powers, so I’m afraid to cross her. You saw what happened before.

  3. That prayer is excellent, btw.

    Are you going to share your percentage of fatness with the interwebs?

  4. Sure, why not. If I could get them to give me a picture of the scan I would put it up, too. When I asked them for that last time all they could do was print it out in black & white and since it looks like an x-ray, that was pretty lame. Though, it is completely humiliating to actually see your thighs on one of those things, and see how much bigger they are than the top half. Being a girl is lame sometimes.

  5. Being a girl is never lame, stupid. Buck the fuck up.

    So let me get this straight: you’ve been through this assessment before and you went right on ahead and gained more weight? Seeing your fat thighs was not a deterrent?

  6. Wait wait, you’ve had this scan before?? Did it help? Or whatever it’s supposed to do? I want one. Sounds cool.

  7. Yes, I’ve done it before. The fitness program at the University has one at the beginning and one at the end, so you can compare (because their program is part of a study). It’s cool because you get pissed that you’re not losing a lot of weight and when you look at the scan it’s because you’ve lost fat, but gained muscle.

    It’s mostly used to measure bone density, but also to measure other things (like total body composition, which is what we use it for). I can even see the slight curve in my spine and where I have loose vertebrae. It’s crazy:

    Kiki, for the record, it’s going to be awesome when I have a way better begin scan than last time because I’ve lost 12 lbs. And if seeing my fat thighs the first time had been more of a deterrent then we never would have started this and you would weigh 173 lbs. So, you’re welcome.

  8. Belly laughs over here.

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