SkinnyThighs
Get to work, bitch. (probably NSFW.)

Actual conversation

by kiki dogwood

Actual conversation with a hugely fat sales girl at ghetto Macy’s in my town:

Kiki:  Where is the Joe’s Jeans section?

Macy’s girl:  We don’t have one.

Kiki:  OK.  Where are the jeans?

Macy’s girl:  We don’t sell them.

Kiki:  But I just saw two pair over there.

Macy’s girl:  Yeah, but that’s all we have.  Did you want to try those on?

Kiki:  No.  They’re too small.  So what jeans do you sell that are good for big butts and small waists?

Macy’s girl:  Oh gosh I don’t know.  Have you tried “Not Your Daughter’s Jeans?”

Kiki:  Those sound like old lady jeans.

Macy’s girl: (laughing) Yeah, they kind of are.

Kiki:  (death stare)

Macy’s girl:  Well, INC makes some curvy jeans.

Kiki:  Fine.  I’ll try on a pair.  The ones I’m wearing are 32s.

Macy’s girl:  Yeah, we should have them in a 16.

Kiki:  (dramatic pause as smoke comes from Kiki’s ears)  I am not a size sixteen.

***

In the end I did find a pair of INC jeans in size 8 that looked awesome and are short enough to wear with flip-flops, and they were only $69.  I am not a size 8.  INC is psyche-feel-good so they tell you lies.  If there was such a size, I’d be a 10 1/2 right now.

Advertisements

One Response to “Actual conversation”

  1. I think that the next time you tell this story you should end it with:

    “And then I kicked her in the balls.”


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: