Get to work, bitch. (probably NSFW.)

So, I already quit

-kiki dogwood

Starting a fast before purchasing and moving into a new house with my dear husband may have not have been the greatest idea because we have too much to celebrate, and we celebrate with alcohol and food.  And we did.  So I’m off, but I feel good and hope that this has an impact on my quickly-forming Panda Express and Starbucks habits.  And hopefully it will help me eat smaller portions during the day now that I’ve gone 3 days with nothing.

Also?  Because I was so out of my mind on Sunday?  I forgot it was his birthday.  I forgot until Monday night.  Wife of the year over here.


12 Responses to “So, I already quit”

  1. KAREN LOUISE LADY GAGA DOGWOOD. Congratulations on your Wife of the Year Award. I can’t believe that happened!!

    3 days is not nothing, so great for you. 3 days is awesome. And nice job sticking it to those Panda Express bastards and their New Evil.

  2. Welcome back to the land of solid food! And congrats on the house and all that jazz.

  3. Also, there is a waterfall coming out of my pooper.

  4. Yay for sharing!!!

  5. Shut up. For real?

  6. omg, Kiki. It will make me so happy if you talk about poop some more.

  7. ANNONDOG. She had nothing but LEMON WATER with CAYENNE PEPPER and maple SYRUP for THREE DAYS.

    Of course, forreals.

  8. Do you remember how hard we laughed in the car when I reenacted how I couldn’t shut up about poop over lunch with my in-laws? What is my problem?

  9. YES. Poop is hilarious, that is your problem.

    H I L A R I O U S !

  10. My baby’s poop is especially hilarious. We have maids coming in the morning to clean the house we’re moving out of THANKS BE TO GOD and I was dumping one of his perfect little turds off to swim in the tank (because my babe wears cloth diapers) and part of it stuck on the bowel and I thought, “I am not cleaning that off. I have maids coming tomorrow.”

    And then! While we were closing on buying the new house today, I started telling my husband– in front of our real estate agent (who is also our very good friend)– about the turd stuck on the bowel and he said, “Yes. I saw that,” and we had a nice laugh.

  11. This whole exchange is pretty awesome.

  12. Poop, poop, poop.

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