Get to work, bitch. (probably NSFW.)

Miss Mathilda

by kiki dogwood

Yesterday I was looking at some art house/haute couture photos of Tilda Swinton and was surprised to read that not only does she have a husband and twin children, but she also has another lover.  And her husband is cool with that.  What the fuck?

Why does she make a corpse face in her photos?

Is she a wife to both of these men?  Does that mean she has double duty in following behind someone and cleaning up the mess they make, like I do when my husband is home?  She puts up with two men snoring?  She has twice the number of dirty socks to stick her hand in and make right-side-out before doing a double load of laundry?  There must be manly body hair all over her bathrooms.  She has to spend hours a day helping them find their keys, sunglasses, and lost wallets.  Who has that kind of time?

This is definitely the hair of someone who has two husbands

She can’t be that rich.  She hasn’t done so many commercial movies that I’d assume she has a staff of people looking after her, her children, and her two men.  Someone has to clean their shit up.

Taking a wife I can understand.  I’d be down with having a wife of my own; someone who does not create more work for me and is eager to lend a hand with the baby and gives me a little down time.  Someone with very little body hair.  But a husband?  I couldn’t fathom it.


2 Responses to “Miss Mathilda”

  1. This is a classic post, Kiki. I love it. And this lady is c-r-r-azy.

  2. Crazy AWESOME, I think you mean. I love that the Fug Girls just refer to her as SWINTON (their caps).

    I’m so glad you’re back, Kiks.

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