Get to work, bitch. (probably NSFW.)

Okay, you guys

by margo fontaine

I seriously suck at the New #1 Water Rule and I’m having a hard time locating my will power in order to commit to this most excellent reader challenge provided by Badass Faith.

The first couple of days, I did great.  Even when my bladder started to protest because it did not enjoy the possibility of having to deal with 48 extra ounces of liquid just so my brain and central nervous system would be able to partake of a gin martini and a glass of red.  But after a couple of days, my bladder started to say, “OK, what the fuck?”  And then it went on strike.

Have you ever had your bladder go on strike, readers?

It’s not going well.


6 Responses to “Okay, you guys”

  1. like on strike as in its storing all liquid and its not peeing OR its not storing any liquid at all and its peeing 24/7?

    either way – yuck!

    perhaps you should re-think your adult beverages and limit yourself to one cocktail when you get home from work so you will have time to pee the extra 48 ounces before you go to bed….

  2. I KNOW! but that’s the problem. right now i am so stressed out that i’d rather be fat than put the martini down.

    when i was better at following the rule (ie: the first 2 days), i meant on strike as in peeing a lot—which is actually fine with me, because at least i knew i was hydrated.

    the idea was that it would make me want to drink less alcohol, but it’s really just making me drink more water. which, i guess is better than nothing. but maybe i should amend the rule to be: for every adult beverage margo must drink 24 ounces of water AND GO TO AA.


  3. So far today i’ve had a bagel, a cupcake, two chocolate chip cookies and an entire avocado. Any advice for how to flush that shit out of my system. Gah. I feel like hell.

  4. eat some protein, preferably meat. the thought of it might gross you out from having eaten a lot already, but it should help give you some balance.

  5. I was so on the ball – kicking ass


    1) one of bf’s customers made him oatmeal cookies (which is my weakness) and I ate them all – in one sitting – while watching stupid tv (which made me feel worse about it for some reason) and then the next night 2) bf bought these pretzal pieces that are honey mustard flavor and they are soooo good. We ate the whole bag.

    so needless to say — I am PMSing (at least I really hope I am) and I have gained poundage.

  6. O.

    Those honey mustard pretzel pieces are KILLER. I love them. And hate them. They’re bad news. But so delicious! Devil!!

    OK. Yes. It has to be PMS. Drink your water. You will feel better next week. I swear.

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