Get to work, bitch. (probably NSFW.)


-kiki dogwood


So, the baby weight from baby #2 is gone but I’m still wearing a mild muffin belt.  7 more pounds of baby weight from baby #1 remain.  That’s 16 pounds down in 9 days.

Who knew that 400 calories would send my body into starvation mode but 800 calories turns my  metabolism back on?  My stomach was growling all day yesterday.  It was easier to put up with this in starvation mode, seriously.

I have news for anyone who thinks that skipping breakfast sends your body into starvation mode:  you’ll be just fine, quit crying about it.  Cavemen didn’t always get to have their sausage mcmuffin, either.

Today is the last day of the fast and I’m supposed to break it tomorrow with the juice from fresh-squeezed organic oranges, which have been on my counter taunting me for the past week.  To be honest, all I miss is meat.  The other day at work I thought I smelled a hotdog and almost attacked someone.  When I make my son breakfast sausage or fry up some chicken breast nuggets it takes all I have to not pop them in my mouth.  Sometimes I just lick my fingers for the grease.

If I could just eat meat, I would be happy.  I’d supplement it with fresh oranges and steamed cauliflower and chopped up yellow bell pepper and I swear I’ll never drive through another Starbucks again.

And this is exactly where I wanted my mind to be.

Except that I think I might take this fast to Monday…  because that would be 155.


2 Responses to “158.5”

  1. It is really freaking tempting to eat some chicken right now. Maybe I will stop tomorrow.

  2. Dude. You haven’t EATEN in 10 DAYS. You should stop tomorrow and have some chicken.

    16 lbs is crazy amazeballs fantastic. I pretty much want to be you when I grow up.

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