Get to work, bitch. (probably NSFW.)

Posts Tagged ‘margo’s nemesis


July 14, 2010

by margo fontaine Did cellulite exist in the 40’s? I mean, I know that’s a ridiculous question, but doesn’t it seem like there’s just a lot more of it now than, say, 50 or 60 or 200 years ago?  Is it just that we show more skin now?  Or is it that we’re a disgusting […]

Suck on it, Nemesis.

June 7, 2010

by margo fontaine Okay, you guys.  You know about the hate/HATE relationship I have with my nemesis Cellulite. I HATE YOU, CELLULITE. Do you also know that (other than our own Kiki Dogwood) I’m the biggest skeptic ever?  Forreals.  Well, I have to say a big thank you to our own Kiki Dogwood for telling […]

I just read this:

April 22, 2010

Irony of ironies — you actually can smooth out bumpy thighs with food. “Cellulite is at least partially genetic, so you can’t completely eradicate it, but ingesting foods that strengthen blood vessels, collagen and elastin fibers has been shown to improve the appearance of cellulite, says dermatologist Dr. Howard Murad, author of “The Cellulite Solution.” […]

Two months

April 2, 2010

by margo fontaine Are you ready, Kiki? I’m not.  I’ve lost some weight and I feel good about my clown pants, but I am still as lumpy as ever.  And pale.  And gross. And there is no way there will ever be that much space between my thighs.

One thing that didn’t suck this week

April 1, 2010

by margo fontaine I got another notch on my belt today, bitches.  Woo! Granted, it’s partly the pants, as there’s no button on them so they lie pretty flat as pants go.  BUT.  These are also the pants that I’ve never worn a belt with before.  In fact, I’ve hardly ever worn them since I […]

An open letter to some jerks who’d better watch their backs

March 21, 2010

by margo fontaine Dear Cellulite, Muffin Top, Saddle Bags, Varicose and Spider Veins, Back Fat, Sausage Arms, Water Weight, Double Chin, Cankles, Bat Wings, Pot Belly, Lard Ass, Blubber Butt, Baby Weight, Stretch Marks, Thunder Thighs (!), and all other known associates: I AM NOT AFRAID OF YOU AND I WILL BEAT YOUR ASS. Yours […]

Friday fat check

March 19, 2010

by margo fontaine 133.0 today!  Down 1.8 from last week, and 11.6 over all!  (I KNOW!!)  I still think Scale is messing with me, though.  Because I have not stopped the all-the-time weighing myself, and it’s never as low as it is on Friday mornings.  BUT.  It is consistently going in the right direction, and […]

Not funny.

March 6, 2010

by margo fontaine Hey, Kiki.  Remember that time I wrote Cellulite a hate letter and you asked me if I was talking about the less popular cousin, Arm Cellulite?  At first, I was kind of surprised that your mind would automatically go to that, seeing as how my mirror generally shows me nothing but hateful […]

Thanks, Brooke.

February 25, 2010

by margo fontaine Hey, remember her? Used to be on the E! channel all the time, swimsuit model, winner of a season of “Dancing With The Stars”?  Once upon a time, she also did a couple of workout video’s with Gunnar Peterson, a celebrity fitness trainer who was a big proponent of using the stability […]

Dear Cellulite:

February 18, 2010

by margo fontaine I HATE YOU MORE THAN EVER. Go away, please.